you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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