oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize