i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
