it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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