I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize