And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
