I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
