Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
