What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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