I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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