My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize