dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
