the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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