Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+93): View more from

dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this

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(+93): dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this http://tfl.nu/ft70

Replies (13) Good night (849) Bad night (1864)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"

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(704): You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs" http://tfl.nu/7byd

Replies (5) Good night (1308) Bad night (4438)
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(912): View more from Georgia

I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.

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(912): I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection. http://tfl.nu/273s

Replies (17) Good night (4640) Bad night (1173)
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(647): View more from Ontario

i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.

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(647): i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces. http://tfl.nu/7l8v

Replies (3) Good night (3472) Bad night (1215)
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(813): View more from Florida

So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.

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(813): So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one. http://tfl.nu/vysc

Replies (8) Good night (3799) Bad night (2383)
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(435): View more from Utah

he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!

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(435): he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?! http://tfl.nu/3uuq

Replies (19) Good night (1399) Bad night (3810)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.

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(781): Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad. http://tfl.nu/2wvl

Replies (20) Good night (1792) Bad night (5250)
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(619): View more from California

Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head

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(619): Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head http://tfl.nu/u456

Replies (3) Good night (1414) Bad night (770)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....

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(215): Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there..... http://tfl.nu/ckkf

Replies (18) Good night (928) Bad night (2723)
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(281): View more from Texas

She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!

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(281): She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave! http://tfl.nu/tzuo

Replies (12) Good night (1074) Bad night (674)
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(360): View more from Washington

I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.

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(360): I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been. http://tfl.nu/46nz

Replies (3) Good night (884) Bad night (571)
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(702): View more from Nevada

we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night

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(702): we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night http://tfl.nu/elak

Replies (7) Good night (1134) Bad night (399)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.

(505): View more from New Mexico

But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess

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(505): It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die. (505): But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess http://tfl.nu/nbb1

Replies (3) Good night (624) Bad night (362)
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(773): View more from Illinois

On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult

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(773): On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult http://tfl.nu/j3ws

Replies (0) Good night (535) Bad night (341)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...

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(763): I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked... http://tfl.nu/6r3j

Replies (3) Good night (373) Bad night (588)

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