dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
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Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
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I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.