question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂