OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize