In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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