I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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