Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
