Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
