apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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