I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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