and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
