My brain says no but my pants say off.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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