Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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