My liver just broke up with me...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
