i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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