last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
