why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Sober January is a disaster.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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