After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I had to cum in my sink.
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