We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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