I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize