If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
