Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
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