So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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