so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.