she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...