Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
