duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
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