Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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