Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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