What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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