Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
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there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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