With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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