Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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