You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize