did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I want to have your abortion
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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