i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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