Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize