Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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