I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
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These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
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I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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