Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer