come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The beer is more important than you right now.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.