You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.