Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together