Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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